The No List


  • Philosophical Academic – a given
  • Groupie – lock-jaw. don’t look good in hot pants.
  • sandwich maker (bread division) – went mad from cabin fever
  • Marry royalty – cannot run around London with a bottle of tequila (or has Harry proved me wrong?)


  • 90s hip hop star – sadly timing makes this impossible
  • Teacher of scary teenagers – fear of judgement from the über cool


  • Commuter
  • Fisherman – it’s murrrdrrr (by no way will I ever be a vegetarian – I will settle for hypocrite and a lacklustre attempt of avoiding king prawns)
  • Food critic – too easily pleased
  • Paragliding instructor – irrational fear of plunging to my death
  • Pilot – see above


  • My current job


  • Librarian

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